Today I was listening to my iPod while working out at the gym. The words to an Amanda Marshall song gripped my heart as I felt the Lord speaking to me as if the words to the song were a transparent conversation between the two of us.
The words echoed words I had said when all of my close girl friends seemed whisked away, because of crises or busyness in their lives. “Why am I lonely You’re sitting right hear? Why am I talking? It’s like I am talking to the air? And what am I looking for that just isn’t there?
Then the Lord responded with His own longing and loneliness for me.
“Why don’t you love me the way I love you? Why don’t you feel things as deep as I do? We’ve got a fundamental difference in matters of emotions, but I need to feel you need me like a river needs an ocean. Baby why don’t love me? For every wall you built around you I learned a brand new way to climb. And if I could have been your angel I would have learned a brand new way to fly. I don’t understand you. What’s it take to make you cry and if leaving you doesn’t break you than what’s it matter why?” I was speechless as the words tore through my heart.
I love the Lord. My life has been given to the Lord. I’m not s Sunday morning Christian and yet the Lord still wants more. He wants all of me! He wants me in the same way I long for more than chit chat or superficial, surface chatter with my husband or close friends.
He longs to fill the discontentment in my life. He longs to satisfy the hunger I have for deeper places. He longs to lead me into waters where I can’t stand up and yet everything I hold onto to stay a float is surrendered to Him. He wants it all, every recess, nook and cranny surrendered to Him. And He will strip away anything I cling to that takes His place, whether it is money, reputation, influence or simply girl friends. He wants it all.
What do you have that has kept you from needing the Lord like a river needs an ocean? What has kept you from surrendering it all to Him? He is asking, “Are you lonely, because I am sitting right here? Why don’t you love Me the way I love you?"
