I am a person who finds delight in action. When I am pressed up against a wall, I usually find relief in taking action, instead of nursing my predicament like worry beads. I am just wired that way.
When my precious husband Bill went home to be with the Lord, while many process through grief differently, I immediately needed to sort through his belongings to find closure. The brutal reality necessitated that I immediately faced life head on without him.
Shortly after when the Lord instructed me to move my little family to North Carolina, I didn’t hem and haw about it. I said “yes” and did it. However, now I find myself on the edge of a precipice needing to be reminded again how to take the first leap into air. Maybe some of you too have gotten comfortable in life and find that sky diving is the last thing on your mind.
As I move forward into the Lord’s new assignment for my family, I find myself holding my breath trying to imagine what it will feel like once my foot leaves the secure footing beneath it, questioning if we’ve really heard the invitation to fly. I imagine myself peering into the deep end of the unfamiliar where I am again invited to dive, tabulating how cold the first plunge will be upon my skin.
Recently when reading in the book of James I experienced the first blast of cold air.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:5-8 NKJ
As if that wasn’t direct enough James goes on,
“Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God--the free life!-even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.” James 1:22-25 MSG
Like many of you, I have clearly glimpsed the revealed counsel of God—the free life. I have tasted the freedom of extending my wings to fly. There is no comparison to wading in the lukewarm baby pool, or nestling in a comfortable cul-de-sac. I know I was born to fly!
Even if I need to close my eyes, praying while I jump, I know I willingly surrender the comfort of all I can't keep, for what I will never loose. I've decided to heed the words of Ray Bradbury, “Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”
